I’ve been ordering veggie burgers from McDonald’s for years and I’ve always been confused about why I sometimes get what I want (a burger with lettuce and mayo) and sometimes I get the bizarre sandwich smothered in litres of excessively sweet sweet chili sauce.
I like the vegetable patty that McDonald’s do. It’s a lot better than many pub veggie burgers I’ve had, especially the one from The Chequers in Royston: a mediocre at best patty of mashed vegetables in breadcrumbs, which was served to me burnt in a plain white bun that hadn’t even been buttered. I despise McDonald’s weird sweet chili sauce, and the absurdly awkward to eat sandwich with the two halves of the veggie bean burger. Why put it in a long roll when you have hundreds of rolls designed to be the exact size you actually need? Why is your sauce so sweet? Are you putting jam in my spicy bean burger?
Yet I keep ordering the McDonald’s veggie burger, because there’s not much else and sometimes I get what I want: a nice burger in a nice roll with some nice lettuce and some nice mayonnaise.
Friends, I have finally worked out what has been going wrong all these years. McDonald’s do TWO veggie burgers. There’s the spicy bean burger and the veggie deluxe, and, as the person behind the counter in McDonald’s Swaffham kindly explained to me, the spicy bean burger is the long one with chili on it and the veggie deluxe is basically the Chicken Supreme but with a vegetable patty.
This is a life changing moment. Never again will I gingerly scrape off as much chili jam as is possible with a couple of paper napkins, only to have the whole assembly fall apart the second I pick it up anyway. Never again will I carefully peel off the half a tomato they put on top of each half a patty. I am free to eat the boring veggie burger with lettuce and mayo I’ve always wanted. I suppose if you actually like the spicy bean burger sandwich and have occasionally been getting the (superior) plain version by accident you know the difference now too.
Go forth and spread the knowledge.
And the cheesy bites are pretty good too.